Thursday, September 25, 2014

Red Team - Matt & Sean - The Ginger Twins

Team Bio:

These brothers were delivered as a team 42 years ago and have since shared a passion for sport, competition, and quality cuts of meat.

Like most identical twins, these two can read each other's minds and finish each other's sentences (and beers, often without permission).

As buff young men, these two have competed at international levels in both synchronized swimming (pairs event) and tandem bicycling. Retired from the professional circuit they are now private investigators by day, and semi-successful lounge singers by  night. Though they have yet to be hired for a single case, they are confident that their trench coats and magnifying glasses will soon pay off.  In the meantime, they keep their skill sharp by playing Clue online, and their chests smooth by hot waxing each other on a twice-monthly schedule. "It's more aerodynamic," explains Matt, while dripping hot wax all over Sean's broad, well-muscled chest. "Plus, it looks better in our stage costumes, when we like to show a little -" "-skin!" finishes Sean, as Matt pulls the first of many long, hairy strips.

Potential roadblocks: triplets, unicycles

Team Motto "Twice as good as all you other suckers!"

Green Team - Joel & Andre - Married

Team Bio:

The couple met while Joel was on a judge's panel and Andre was competing for Mr. Gay Canada. Though he didn't bring home the title, he did bring home a friend and lover (as well as a pretty pretty sash and a second-runner up tiara). Celebrating 20 years together this fall, Joel and Andre plan to put their competitive streak to good use.

Andre, a successful former hand model, currently works at a pashmina booth at an upscale mall in downtown Vancouver. Joel, a dental hygienist and avid Barbie collector, couldn't be more proud of the things they've accomplished over their two decades together, and can't wait to add an Amazing Race win to the list. His mother, Arlene, will be watching her son and his roommate race for the title, and hopes he'll meet a nice girl somewhere along the way and finally give her a grandchild.

Potential Roadblocks: anything that might result in callouses

Team Motto: "Second-runner-up is not an option."

Blue Team/Islamic State of Minden - Luc & Mel - "Reluctant Coworkers"

Team Bio:

Luc and Mel hail from small town Yukon where Luc is assistant to the manager of a 5-pin bowling establishment, and Mel serves as its only overworked waitress, serving beers and seal jerky on her trusty rollerskates to bear trappers, Eskimos, and those who came to pan for gold and never left.

A fiesty redhead known for her wisecracking ways, Mel is sure to be a fan favourite. She's motivated to win this race because she's been saving up for a new set of knockers for a real long while and her tip cup's still half empty.

Luc describes himself as "suave" and "a real go-getter." He prides himself on an all-polyester wardrobe, and for having the town's most parking tickets attributed to a snowmobile. He once ate a 72oz steak in under an hour and still had room for dessert. He believes winning this race will finally clinch his long-awaited promotion to assistant manager and will help him pay off some of his overdue child support.

Potential Roadblocks: Bears, bumpy roads (they're hell on rollerskates)

Team Motto: "How many parkas should we pack?"